What I really am hoping for from fellow DB forum members is support to carry on working on myself and our relationship, when things are feeling so hopeless. I’m doing good at GAL (actually felt I already had a good life outside of our relationship, unlike her who did very little on her own) and acting as if everything is ok is easy for me to do. Even so, we seem to be at a standstill.
She is trying to pull away from me, and plans and does things on her own instead of with me. I have never held her back from trying new things or going out with friends, in fact I always encouraged it. But, because of her recent admission of wanting to find love elsewhere, I’m now quite uncomfortable with her staying out late at night or going on vacations without me. She also just signed up on Facebook for the first time. More fun on her own.
Obviously I still need to let her do her thing, but I also need her to spend fun time with me if I ever expect her to want to re-commit. How should I proceed? Should I voice my concerns? I can see how doing so may cause her to feel controlled, but keeping it inside me doesn’t seem a very good long term strategy either. For true passion to exist, both partners must feel comfortable enough to confide in each other. I feel she is still confiding everything with me. I’m still her best friend.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
