i think i'm having a hard time getting the actual situation across to you guys.
he does take them when he's with h.
the problem is that h makes it clear that he doesn't think it's important (when H feels like feeling like that) and then at times he is adamant that s of course has to take them
so maybe the issue is inconsistency here.
sometimes i'm allowed to feel secure in the knowledge that h is on the same page as me, and then when i least expect it - suddenly h is talking about - why do we have to give s the meds - look at him he's doing great - and i feel that i have to be the one to "explain" it all again
oh shite - labug - i'm only starting to see the real double bind here.
it's as if h uses this back and forth to hold some sort of nebulous control over a situation he may be fearful about.
and i never saw it from this pov before - i have seen the back and forth with everything else - and it's driven me nuts. but never realized he does it with the meds.
years ago, just for peace of mind, i decided that i wasn't going to be affected by it any more - the hopping from one side of the fence to the other non-stop on every issue. and my life was much easier. but now i see there is still this issue that i have not been able to recognize as the same pattern until now.
i am going to talk about this with mil when i have a chance. she did exactly the same - and it drove fil crazy - as in berserk. it is crazy making behavior for the other person. i will ask her from her pov what it was that fil managed to show her/talk to her that stopped her from doing that in the relationship any more.
maybe something she says will help me to find the right way to handle it for myself. i am not thinking of trying to change this in h - just to get insight about where he might be when he does that, info i can use
about s getting input- h has a complete and utter distrust of the entire medical community - it's huge. so if they have any advice to give - even s dismisses going to get it.
my suggestions are usually responded to in a disdainful scornful "what a load of crap! those guys are f'ing idiots" - sort of way. ...
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
