New to site...Ready for Advice...Been Reading!

[Arsene]

I have been talking with kids everyday for awhile each day. I feel for them, because they have displayed misery with being with her while I am gone & keep asking me why I had to leave for 2 weeks. They will be ok though, and it will most likely be good for her. She is in school full time, teaching again full time, and has kids with her full time. So she is being very short & angry with them, so that is why I feel for them.

If she used to be the "mother of the year" and now she's as you describe, I have a feeling that this new life of hers isn't all that happy after all.

The kids have taken a huge liking to the new Daddy over the last almost 6 months, and have definitely not enjoyed the current Mommy. I was always a good Father, but now I consider myself as becoming a GREAT Father.

I know the feeling. both you and I have taken on some amazing responsibility here and although women have been juggling between work and parenthood for decades, it's always nice to see a daddy doing it. Someone on this site also mentioned that it was a very attractive trait in a man. To me this is a 180 that I wish I'd done way before (not that I ever was an absentee father but boy, am I having a good time with D8).

If W wants to jump on board and ride with us then I will still be here wanting her to return. But if she is still set with going through with the "D", then for some reason lately It really doesn't bother me. I think I can maintain my own happiness without her. Of course a lot of that has to do with having my kids around me a lot.

They sure are helpful these little ones. D8 constantly reminds me never to give up. A while ago, when she was crying for her mom at bed time, I made her a promise that I would never stop trying to save our family and she's right there for me when she sees I'm struggling.

After reading through and receiving advice from Starsky & Denver, I know that I am definitely in for a Marathon based on how long it took them to start piecing their M back together. Make no mistake though, I truly want to be with her for the rest of my life, but I don't NEED to be with her for the rest of my life.

yeah, I want her but I don't need her. Big difference. I think that when they realize this (because after all of our begging they still think we need them) it makes a difference in the interaction.

I will continue to follow yours, along with a few other in our Freshman class of 2012. I will also continue to pray that all will be well for us & that God reveals his ultimate Will & Path for our lives...Because I sure haven't figured it out yet smile

Funny, a few days ago, I was commenting on Denver's BITS, saying what a great bunch they were and how supportive they always were to one another (and others as well) and I mentioned that it's something we could do but we needed a cool name. Freshman class of 2012 sounds good to me.

You are definitely right about the kids. We have a great time these days, whether it is just being silly around the house or whether it is going out and doing other things. There is a little bit of a void there with W not being involved in the activity, but she knows where I am if she wants to come back and enjoy the newly revived & transformed Suppo!

When ever W is around while D8 and I are playing and having a good time, I can always see some sadness in her eyes, as if she would love to join in but is holding back. Of course this is purely speculative mind-reading but it makes me feel like there is a chance.

Boy would that light a fire in her brain if she saw me open a FB page, after she knows how strongly I felt against it

As Denver says, I'd watch out for the double-edged blade. She might then use it to pi$$ you off when she's angry with you. Someone here (I think it's 9600) once opened his page only to find his W showing a very sexy outfit she'd gotten for an upcoming holiday.

Every so often i have a look at her page. It's funny because W used to spend so much time on it and now, she's not very active anymore(I even wonder if she hasn't started another page but with over 400 "friends", it would be difficult - but possible). One of the things that stands out is that we are still listed as married (not surprising as her family hasn't been informed yet) and although it doesn't mean anything, it's always comforting that at least on FB we are still a couple .


Suppo, it sounds like emotionally, you are already where many of us want to be. It's really all a state of mind and for me, sometimes I know I'm stopping the process because I'm afraid that if i detach enough not to be affected, I might just stop caring. I think Denver struggled with this for a while as well. For now, as much as it hurts, my pain is a constant reminder of what we had/have, but this is also a double-edged blade, unfortunately.

Keep it up mate, and thanks for your support (Ah!!! Suppo is for Support, not for Supplicating - Starsky you, mug!! )