[/quote] I get confused over the doormat phenomena as well! I think that it is not only that you are eager to help her, but that you may have the "FIXER" personality like I do. You have to step back like you said & make yourself less available. Once in awhile I can see "MAYBE" being there for her, but then again if it is space that she wants; then you need to step back.
Yes, I am a "fixer". I can't stand it and I've been working on it but it is really deep inside of me. I need to watch this.
MrsD also says this about space and she was a WAS as well. It's what I want to do and believe me, I never initiate contact. It's just when she's there that I go with my gut feeling and I might just offer this or that, innocently enough, and hopefully not in a pursuing manner. Usually, it's over getting family time for D8. It's also part of making her life around me/us as pleasant and trouble free as possible but I have to know where to draw the line.
Originally Posted By: suppo
But Like Rough said, I think it easier for us to give advice on other people's situations, and then melt when it comes to ours
Yup, it is.
Originally Posted By: suppo
As far as OM goes, I am not sure you can make someone reconsider an A or not?? I think that most times those things fizzle out on their own, or at least that is my hope. All you can do is work on yourself & be the Man/Father that any woman would want to be with.
Yeah, that is what I hope as well but i wonder if the knowledge that there exists somewhere a nice comfortable home that could be hers as well and a man who fulfills not only some needs but those which are fulfilled by OM at the moment, might not help the affair "fizzle".
Originally Posted By: suppo
I think Denver & Starsky could chime in on this as well, since their tactics/techniques seemed to have a positive effect on both themselves & their R's in the end.
Yeah, a couple of wise buggers, these 2 lads. Great examples of 2 totally different ways that worked in the end.
Originally Posted By: suppo
Keep your chin up Brother & reread some of your posts! Your journaling to us has some really good perception & advice in there written by non other than yourself!
Yeah, I should do much more of that but I already spend way too much time reading others' threads to find the great advice that they unknowingly write on their own threads.
Thanks Suppo
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
