i guess i was working on that - as you see in my last post
are you saying work towards s being responsible for taking his own meds?
i guess that's not the way i look at responsibilities that the parents take on and the ones that it's okay to give to the kids. i've always seen it as our responsibility.
s doesn't take his inhaler only when he has an attack - he doesn't get those sudden attacks like most asthmatics do. he has to take it every morning and night - all year. and then when he does get an attack (they usually last for one to two weeks), he gets to use the emergency inhaler every 4 hrs also and if that doesn't work then oral steroids/hospital. i've always managed to keep him out of the hospital... the drill is to check his oxygen level and his lung capacity every 4 hours - and those are just not things i feel i should leave him to. besides when he's bad he basically cannot lift his head off the pillow
h thinks (in spite of the asthma specialists emphatic orders) that s should only take it when he gets sick and blow it off the rest of the time especially in the summer. we did that when s was younger - stopped it for the summer and every winter was a relentless nightmare of trying to keep on top of the asthma - there were 2 winters in a row where s went to school less than a month altogether.
when we finally started obeying the doc's orders - our winters were transformed - he still got sick but about 80% less. i was adamant that he had to take it through the summer for the last 4 years - and h fought me on it relentlessly. finally i gave up this summer.
i have decided to believe that s won't get sick like he did before- he seems the strongest he has ever been and as i have let go of my fears, i have let go alot of the worry that s will have winters like those before. h insists he's "growing out of it" and the asthma doctor rolls his eyes and says you dont' grow out of asthma you learn to manage it properly.
so about getting out of the double bind - the only way out is to lose my fear first and then the right way to approach h will come to me. of course when i lose my fear - i may not have to approach h on this matter at all....
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
