The one thing that you have that she doesn't is experience. You know what turns him on. You know what scents, sights and sounds he likes. Use that to your advantage. Like make his favorite meal next time he's there and say you already had it planned for your son and you.
A woman is more than just physical looks, she's strong in body and spirit as well.
MrB. You are so right. I have 12 years. Its my esteem that is working against me now. Why is it that men go younger? Atleast thats how it seems to me.
Also, I just found Daddys post earlier ... do you think its possible cake walking hes doing now? Or do you think its possible hes curious .. making time to see whats going in?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Don't worry about it. And don't worry about your body either. You said you work out so I'm sure you're still easy on the eyes. It's just reminding your XH about your ass-ets.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
MrsD: As a 39 year old man I can assure you that while a 20 something could certainly catch my eye and interest me in certain ways, at the end of the day i'll take someone with common interests who I can talk to. And I also think that Bond hit it perfectly when he talked about you two having history. It may not all be good history and it may be tough to wait, but I can assure you that your in his memory in GOOD ways as well.
Don't worry about it. And don't worry about your body either. You said you work out so I'm sure you're still easy on the eyes. It's just reminding your XH about your ass-ets.
MrB .. you crack me up. Thank you for making me feel better. I have to say, this Monday has been the best in a long time. I just need to stay back and let him come to me...
Oh. Another thing to add from the conversation. And I dont think it was pursuing, but please tell me otherwise if it was. As H was there, I told our son that the neighbor girl would be watching him Friday night. Course H was standing there and he says, what is Friday night? I said I have plans. And you would still be my first pick to go with me if you wanted. So he asked what I was doing cause he must have forgot. I reminded him I had tix to see Billy Currington. He said I thought you were selling those tix? I told him no, i sold the motley crue/kiss tix. Hes like why are you going to this concert since you dont like country? I said that country grew on me here recently so why not go? He didnt ask who I was going with, but Im sure he knows its my neighbor GF two houses up..
Not really pursuing, yes?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: As a 39 year old man I can assure you that while a 20 something could certainly catch my eye and interest me in certain ways, at the end of the day i'll take someone with common interests who I can talk to. And I also think that Bond hit it perfectly when he talked about you two having history. It may not all be good history and it may be tough to wait, but I can assure you that your in his memory in GOOD ways as well.
Yeah well they have lots to talk about now cause they are getting to know each other ... shes never lied to him.. she's never cheated on him. Shes little. Shes young. BUT. She wants to get married and have s couple kids. H will be 40a in Oct. I know he didnt want anymore kids when I was with him. Specially when his son is 8. His step daughter is 15. Idk. I don't see a love match, but I have been wrong before ..
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: As a 39 year old man I can assure you that while a 20 something could certainly catch my eye and interest me in certain ways, at the end of the day i'll take someone with common interests who I can talk to. And I also think that Bond hit it perfectly when he talked about you two having history. It may not all be good history and it may be tough to wait, but I can assure you that your in his memory in GOOD ways as well.
Being 46 myself, I'll have to agree with Carnac on this one. I'll take the 30-40 something over a 20-year-old anytime. I've got my own kid to raise, don't want to play games with my partner on top of this. Besides, like Bond says, you have a history together. You know more about him that she's had a chance to learn in the last 5 weeks.
I'm happy for you Mrs D. Keep up the good work but don't start pursuing again. That concert invite was probably a bit too much IMO. Just leave it for now. You don't want to scare him off.
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
MrsD: As a 39 year old man I can assure you that while a 20 something could certainly catch my eye and interest me in certain ways, at the end of the day i'll take someone with common interests who I can talk to. And I also think that Bond hit it perfectly when he talked about you two having history. It may not all be good history and it may be tough to wait, but I can assure you that your in his memory in GOOD ways as well.
Being 46 myself, I'll have to agree with Carnac on this one. I'll take the 30-40 something over a 20-year-old anytime. I've got my own kid to raise, don't want to play games with my partner on top of this. Besides, like Bond says, you have a history together. You know more about him that she's had a chance to learn in the last 5 weeks.
I'm happy for you Mrs D. Keep up the good work but don't start pursuing again. That concert invite was probably a bit too much IMO. Just leave it for now. You don't want to scare him off.
Shes 31. Will be 32 in September. He will be 40 in October. But still - they are on opposite spectrums if you ask me.
Like one of my GFs told me this morning - yes they are spending time together - mostly on the motorcycle. How much time do they really have to talk when hes driving a cycle, and shes on the back. Then - they may stop at a bar, grab a quick beer. But most likely they are with a group. How much more time is not talking to her?
Then the whole working on computer thing. That was one of the reasons we started to fall apart. Cause he spent all of his time doing that. Carnac - if you are reading, I would like to think that it is God sending more computer problems his way. LOL
She really is a part time GF. He has our son at least 3 times a week, if not 4. Hes been working OT at his job, then doing the computer work after. At 31 - I wouldnt want to be a part time GF, but thats me.
I dont think I really asked him to go - more like reminded him that he was my first choice when I had purchased the tickets. Eh - maybe it was pursuing.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: I truly believe that even though people have free will, if asked God certainly can and will help. I also have to tell you I think its pursuing at its finest and the bad part about it is the part I think your missing is not what your saying, but what he's hearing. When you do those things all he hears is you go do whatever you want and i'll be plan B in case you wanna come back. Don't get me wrong, that may very well be true, but he can't know its true. I know it seems like alot of game playing and trust me im with you im a grown man and have no interest in junior high games, but even if your willing to stand there and be plan B don't let him know that.
Im willing to wait as long as it takes for my W to begin working on our relationship, but she cant think for one second that im just gonna sit around and wait until she does. Thats what GAL is about, its mostly for yourself, but it also shows that your a strong confident beautiful woman who does things and if he's not careful you'll meet someone while doing those things that appreciates you and then his chance will have passed. We all struggle with it, but you undermine yourself with just a simple line like that, even if you didnt 'ask' him to go, the fact that you said he'd be your first choice means that he comes before your friends and anyone else in your life and that not only allows him to leave you at plan B, it also pressures him b/c he has made it clear that at least for now he doesn't want that position.
And not to pile on b/c I certainly understand where your coming from with all of this b/c I was exactly the same way and at times I still am, but your spending entirely too much time and energy thinking about him and her and not about you.
There was a great post on here once and I can't rememeber who had it, but the gist of it was if your thinking about them, and their thinking about them, then who is thinking about you? Since they're going to be thinking about them, you have to think about you or no one is.
