So H called about 430 asking if I could pick up our son because he was still working. I said I would. About 630, he called to ask if he could pick up dinner for our son, and come to the house to have dinner with him. I told him I was already in the process of making dinner, but if he wanted to stop by he could.
We made conversation about the day. Our son and school, etc. Our son was then finished with dinner, so I started to do the dishes, then started homework. H said that he would help with homework once he was finished eating. I said sweet, then I can clean my bathroom, etc.
Once they were finished with homework, they went to watch some tv. I thought Id be silly and tried to take some photos of my boys. Cept he didnt like that idea, and covered his face saying I had enough photos of him. Course I said something about thinking he was going to get in trouble for being here? He said he thought Id forward the photo .... hadnt thought of that, and I was sorta hurt he would think that, so I told him I was taking the dog for a walk.
He said, Im leaving in 10 minutes. I said Ill be back by then, and left. When I returned I apologized. He said there was no reason to apologize. Said he had to get going to get busy working on 6 computers that he has now.
Yes. I asked for a hug on the way out. Yes he gave me the biggest tightest hug again, as he rubbed my back. I kissed his neck and told him thanks for stopping.
I walked him to his car. Our son was outside by this time playing with the neighbor. He said bye to him and he left.
Most of the time while he was here, he wouldn't look at me. But he hugged me the way he did on the way out? Baby steps. Not looking into anything. Just living in the moment with a huge smile.
Two weeks ago, he wouldn't have thought of stopping.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Baby steps. See what happens when you stop chasing after him? You're letting him come on his own time. Great job. In terms of the picture, my W was very sensitive about me taking her picture when she was with the kids after she left. I told her that the photo wasn't for her, that it was for the kids. That when they get older and think of their mom, they could look back and remember her through the pictures. She liked it when I put it that way.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Baby steps. See what happens when you stop chasing after him? You're letting him come on his own time. Great job. In terms of the picture, my W was very sensitive about me taking her picture when she was with the kids after she left. I told her that the photo wasn't for her, that it was for the kids. That when they get older and think of their mom, they could look back and remember her through the pictures. She liked it when I put it that way.
Oh MrB!! Baby steps are awesome and I was so surprised by how it all played out because of the scatter brained stuff I had been doing. Ill have to remember that next time if it ever comes up again. Im not sure if I played that off ok though by leaving .. I dont even know if he knew I was hurt by that. But all in all, the night couldn't have been any more perfect.
I still worry the whole time he was here if he was comparing me to her, etc. Im probably looking more into something that wasnt there. Keep the positive. Leave the negative..
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
MrsD: I know its impossible for them to not be thinking about things as well, but I have to guess they don't dwell on things the way we do so don't worry about being compared to anyone. What you want him to do is compare you to you b/c if your really changing then it will be obvious that you arent the same person and you want him to see that.
I think you did absolutely wonderful by leaving, whether or not he knew you were upset by it doesn't matter, if he knew you were upset then he saw you dealing with things in a different way than before, and if he didnt know you were upset then he saw that you didnt have to sit their and pine away for him the entire time your around him. Either way its a win for you.
MrsD: I know its impossible for them to not be thinking about things as well, but I have to guess they don't dwell on things the way we do so don't worry about being compared to anyone. What you want him to do is compare you to you b/c if your really changing then it will be obvious that you arent the same person and you want him to see that.
I think you did absolutely wonderful by leaving, whether or not he knew you were upset by it doesn't matter, if he knew you were upset then he saw you dealing with things in a different way than before, and if he didnt know you were upset then he saw that you didnt have to sit their and pine away for him the entire time your around him. Either way its a win for you.
Is it still a win to walk away being upset when that's what Id done before when I was upset? Run away other than dealing?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
"I still worry the whole time he was here if he was comparing me to her, etc"
Absolutely he was thinking about all of this and more. What you have to do is make yourself so prominent that he can't think of anything else but you. Show him the woman who he married in the beginning.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I still worry the whole time he was here if he was comparing me to her, etc"
Absolutely he was thinking about all of this and more. What you have to do is make yourself so prominent that he can't think of anything else but you. Show him the woman who he married in the beginning.
I think I was doing that while he was here? Upbeat. Funny. Caring to our son.... what I worry about more is the physical side. Im 11 years older than she is. Shes smaller. She doesn't have the kid flab. Stuff like that. You know. Why take chicken when I can have steak?????
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
The one thing that you have that she doesn't is experience. You know what turns him on. You know what scents, sights and sounds he likes. Use that to your advantage. Like make his favorite meal next time he's there and say you already had it planned for your son and you.
A woman is more than just physical looks, she's strong in body and spirit as well.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Hey Daddy, Not sure why I didnt see your post till now. Thank you for your advice, and I do understand. With that being said, if you read what transpired tonight .... how do you feel about that all? Still cake walking? Im not trying to read into it all for anything more than what it is. I guess I really need to build walls around my heart then?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
I think you're way off base here. YOu keep calling the LBS a fall back option. While it may be true in some cases, it's not true in all and definitely not in this case. You can't keep seeing all A's as black and white. That's always been your problem.
I think they genuinely have feelings for each other. And Mrs. D's H has a definite right to be afraid to what might happen. Once trust is regained, then he'll be back.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
