They had very different tactics (Denver and starsky that is)
Arsene, you are repeating yourself here and then answering your own questions (being the better choice, is being the best person YOU can be, etc) You know OM some. What's he like, to you?
What was it your w told you she did not enjoy about you? OH wait, you know already....so that's what matters. YOUR WORK. Not OM's traits. That only applies when a WAS leaving stuns someone and there's no explanation.
Your wife had an explanation (more than one) and you agreed with them until you began to focus on OM.
You seem tempted to revert and determined to try and control the outcome. YOUR improvements are to be "the outcome."
Snooping is how you gather intel, and you KNOW Div Busting is against that. So stop pretending it's a DB idea to get info from her family members.
And you are revising your marital history. Everything was fine EXCEPT UNTIL OM?? Um, No it wasn't fine, and you know that. (so do people who read your whole thread). I don't want to hit you over the head with a 2 x 4 but I recognize this behavior quite well.
If you truly believe THE reason your wife left is OM, and nothing you did, then there is nothing you can do.
You are not OM. You cannot become him. You can only be your best self...but since you are arguing that HE is the cause of the problems, I guess you can give up and not work on yourself....is that what you want to hear?
I'd urge you not to do that. You may see anger as the route to go, as many LBSers do the MINUTE they hear of an OP and they can blame them...
It SEEMS easier than looking at yourself or your role when you feel rejected. But trust me, being that angry takes a load of energy, and keeps you stuck
AND merely makes her more sure of her choice to leave you. It also is harder on your d.
Lose the anger, b/c it truly gets you nowhere & it hurts your cause AND your d. I learned that the hard way, but now I'm repeating myself b/c I know I've told you that before.
Maybe you can read some earlier posts from folks, again.
good luck
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
