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Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275015 08/26/12 04:12 PM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	Not really sure what to make of whats going on. Depression is a weird thing. Had a great weekend in new York city being a tourist. She wanted to hold hands and take lots of photos together. Great weekend. I feel like a fool for overreacting...... Maybe she was just depressed and it wasn't that she wasn't happy being Married anymore ? M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275087 08/27/12 12:49 AM
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY C Cadet Member
Cadet Member C Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY	Originally Posted By: badcompany Not really sure what to make of whats going on. Depression is a weird thing. Had a great weekend in new York city being a tourist. She wanted to hold hands and take lots of photos together. Great weekend. I feel like a fool for overreacting...... Maybe she was just depressed and it wasn't that she wasn't happy being Married anymore ? She is cycling. Depression does not just go away untreated. Dont cycle with her. Me-70, D37,S36

Re: Badcompany back for more Cadet #2275098 08/27/12 01:05 AM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	I know it didn't go away. I'm just saying its a weird concept for me. M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275106 08/27/12 01:09 AM
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY C Cadet Member
Cadet Member C Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY	Originally Posted By: badcompany I know it didn't go away. I'm just saying its a weird concept for me. Of course it is but there is lots that you can learn. Like Al-anon there are things that you can learn. Google depression, and learn how to be the best spouse that you can be. Me-70, D37,S36

Re: Badcompany back for more Cadet #2275275 08/27/12 04:57 PM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	I read a great article just now at readers digest. http://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/how-to-cope-with-a-depressed-spouse/ Just remove the link if I'm not allowed to post it M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275282 08/27/12 05:20 PM
Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY C Cadet Member
Cadet Member C Joined: Nov 2009 Posts: 13,554 Likes: 89 NY	Yes a great article but you are correct that you are not suppose to post any outside links. So what does all of this mean to you? Me-70, D37,S36

Re: Badcompany back for more Cadet #2275284 08/27/12 05:32 PM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	You know, the last four years since my wife and I got back together after OM I've kind of been nervous, I guess you could say, in regards to separating again, like it could happen any minute. I realize this is a separate entity this time. Depression is strong. I myself had very bad anxiety (diagnosed) for over 4 years. Luckily I was able to overcome it, and my wife was there for me the whole time. I need to be there for her, be her rock, stop taking this so personally. Goin to try to read up on it, see the therapist, and be there for her when she needs me M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275402 08/28/12 12:16 AM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	The therapist has given her take home exercises (mood logs, negative feelings exercises etc) and she's going every week to see him. Should I go see him separately to learn how to better help her or should I just double down on reading up on this subject ? M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

Re: Badcompany back for more badcompany #2275405 08/28/12 12:28 AM
Joined: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,877 VA A adinva Member
adinva Member A Joined: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,877 VA	It's your responsibility to work on you and let her work on her. I don't think you should try to see her IC in order to help her. Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.

Re: Badcompany back for more adinva #2275542 08/28/12 07:42 AM
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ B badcompany OP Member
OP badcompany Member B Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 562 NJ	I'm trying to differentiate between 'her working on her' and me being there for her and helping her through this M 31 W 26 M 6 S 6 S 3 Separated 6/2008 Back together 10/2008 All you need is love

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