This is just my opinion & anyone else can chime in, but no matter how constructive you think a conversation with wife about your D's food/meals may be; it could be construed as controlling. Or maybe like you are telling her how to parent.
I think that if you get her into great habits on a consistent basis when she is with you, then your D would most likely continue those things while she is with your W! Am I way off base here?? If so, I apologize. But it does kind-of seem like "Fixing" or controlling.
Just my 2 cents, since you, me, Alk, & Arsene all seem to be the Freshman class of 2012 here and share a lot of similar timelines etc. But then again after reading many posts on this forum, I think most situations have similarities, with maybe a few idiosyncrasies mixed in here and there.
