Yeah I have got a lot of personal growth to go through and I am looking forward to it.
The other day we got into a bit of an argument over a misunderstanding & I could feel it building & turning into an R talk.
The disagreement was ultimately about my W feeling like she isn't spending enough time with the kids on her own, with an undertone of 2 way criticism of my W not pulling her weight with the day to day running of the house & me not getting as much stuff in the house decorated / fixed as hoped for.
I stopped it dead, because I could see where this conversation was heading.
I just said, 'This situation is not ideal for either of us, but blaming each other isn't the answer, we need to talk more & be logical abouth these things. I've been on plenty of days out with the kids on my own this summer, you've got today & a few days off work next week, take the kids out somewhere & I'll get as much done in the house as I can'.
I asked her if she was ok with that & she said yes, so I left the conversation.
My W took the kids out a couple of times & I had a good clear out in our bedroom & decorated it.
The argument has been forgotten about & we have got on really well since.
The difference for me was that I wasn't hoping for any positive outcome or had any agenda that was measured by my W's reaction. I simply listened, acted & stepped back.
The rope was thrown to me, but I didn't pick it up
Bill
Me 34 W 32 D 9 S 6 M: 9 years T: 12 Bomb: 02/11/12 EA/PA: 12/17/11 - ongoing Moved out: Oct 2012 Joint Filed for D: 2/11/13
