a new perspective

[strongerthanever]

WTH. That's all I can say right now. Vets, I hope you're reading this...

H's routine for the past few months involves silence except the Sunday text asking how we are going to switch the girls. My answer is always the same...you drop them off at daycare, I'll pick them up from daycare (or flip it).

H's new routine is..."well I'm not using that siter anymore", to which I reply "ok, just text me the info for the new sitter". Hours later he'll ask if he can just pick them up from my house. In the end, it comes out that he has not fired the old sitter, what time will I be dropping them off? Don't forget such and such, can he just pick them up here?

Sometimes I let him, but last Sunday left me messed up, and I know that for MY own well being, it isn't good for me, so I chose to discontinue (stil detaching)

I embraced several 180's, all which seemed to have thrown him for a major loop. Too bad, this is about me. Anyhow, here's what happened...

Yesterday I get the ususal text, and the usual conversation unfolds...I'm left waiting hours for the "new" sitter's information. I asked myself-why am I doing this? Why don't you tell him where he can pick up the girls? So I contact my babysitter who has agreed to letme drop them off and let H picl them up. Cool. H texts me the new sitter's addres as I'm texting him my sitter's info. And here's where it all begins...

H-sends info

me-They are going to Spring's house in the morning, that's where you will pick them up for now on. I'll forward you her info

H-the new sitter doesn't have any toys or diapers yet. Can you bring them your stuff and I'll make sure you get it back?

H-wait, what?

H-can you call me?

(I forward info)

H-can you please call me

me-they will be there every momday by 8. Unless I get different info from you I'll assume I'm going to this new address to pick up my girls. Now there's no more confusion or need to ask every week.

(he starts calling, I don't answer)

H-but why can't you just take them to my sitters tomorrow and on your monday I can take them to Spring's?

H-can we do that

H-Is there any way I can get them from you tomorrow

(he is calling me like crazy, I turn my phone off for the night)

7:48 am today...
H-can you make sure they have their sippy cups

H-have you dropped them off yet

me-hey I'm not gonna rush their morning routine, they'll be at Spring's by 10 am for now on (H is at work anyway)

H-I can't get the girls at 10 (um, who cares?)

H-can you please answer your phone (H knows I don't do phone calls with him anymore, he curses at me and hangs up on me)

H start calling like crazy, again

H SHOWS UP AT MY HOUSE! He askes to come in, I say no. My girls are screaming. He's not gonna do this. He just can't show up unannounced when ever he wants. He bangs on the door, and I calmly tell him that if does not leave I will call the police.

H-I just wanted to talk

By this time I am dropping off the girls. The sitter and I chat and I get this text...

H-I'm not getting the girls this week

WTF??????? Really? He went THAT low? Sitter and I go over different scenerios, I decide to leave them there and contact his commander (he's in the army. Speak with the commander about everything, she promises to get an answer and call back.

Meanwhile, H informs me again that he's not picking the girls. Great. So I go pick them up and we go grocery shopping, staying in the area of my sitter's house. Commander calls saying that he WILL pick them up. OK, I go back to the sitter's house (my poor sitter) to drop them off.

H happens to pull up behind me as I'm parking.

H-Can I get them out?

me-no

His exow/supervisor was ordered to supervise him so she's in his car, watching everything. I'm not phased, I just think it was ironic.I kiss the girls goodbye, let them run to daddy, put the diaper bag on the ground, lock my car and go in the sitter's house.

Phew, that was a lot.

I would have left them there to wait and see, however, I have class tonight from 6-10 pm, then I work from 11pm-7am. So they would have potentialy been there from 9am-12am the next day. I'm not cool with that.

Holly cow guys! Craziness! It's like he's grabbing any litle thing to "get me". Not mind reading, he has had this pattern for the past 18 months. I'm just glad that I stood my ground. My ? is why? Why look for reasons to be dramatic? I don't bother him or anything. Just drop the girls off or pick them up. No need to contact me at all. So glad I have my own life and that this is not the highlight of the week. I am sad though that he was going to just givere up his week with the girls. he must not be in a good place

Back in the real world..

monday-class/give lecture
wednesday-zumba bootcamp
friday-zumba/state fair with friends

I'm sure I'll fill in the rest of the days. Oh! And I got two long haired burmeese cats, Nala (Lion King) and Raja (Aladin).

Anyhow, any vet have some insight into the craziness of this morning? I'd love to hear it