What Next.

[lillystillinlove]

What will this week hold. I'm sure Friday will be hard. It will be our 16th wedding anniversary. We acknowledged last years but the plans made never came to fruition. This is the time when my H and the OW (my very good friend) were starting their A. The year before he was having surgery (not planned).

I have a card for him if he decides to acknowledge it. I hope he at least has enough respect and class to not see her if they are still involve.

I cried tears of joy the day we married. I look at those pictures and am amazed at how beautiful I look, I was radiating the pure happiness I felt. So much love, so much promise. H looked sooo good in his tux that day, just dashing. I still see the love in his eyes in those pictures. Will he ever feel that for me again? Will he ever be able to get past all the pain and anger? Will we ever be a family again? I don't want our son to learn it's ok to give up on a family.

I'm contemplating changing MCs. I like the guy we are seeing but we are not making any progress. I was disappointed when he seem ok with H moving out and seems to be working toward successful co-parenting. I'm not happy about that. I'm talking to my IC today about it. We'll see what she says and then what H says.