I had to ring H about something today and after our very short convo he texted me about something. I kept it brief and said thank you. A bit later he texted me about something unrelated just friendly chit chat but it really made me angry. I don't know. He was talking about our hometown etc and then he says sorta wish I was there.
And I thought NO! you don't get to text me to reminisce when you're homesick. You made your bed go lie in it. I'm not going to be that soft place to land whilst you're telling me you're marrying someone else. So I replied and said "from what I saw on your FB page you'll be there soon enough. Don't wish your life away" Because I'd seen him reply to someone on one of his posts saying they were going in Feb.
I felt a little bit bad and said Sorry if that sounded like a lecture I'm just a little bit jealous that I'm not going back as soon. Then I told him about the possiblity of a promotion at work.
He said I'm wondering what I said on FB. So I reminded him and he said oh right. then he said good luck tomorrow that will be a nice change. I replied and said tell me about it I'm practically giddy.
You know at first I was upset about how I handled that but now I'm not.
I honestly feel like since I started DB'ing all I've done is let him cake eat. He's had this new relationship and at the same time the security of knowing I was always there.
I know that his GF is right now out of town at a music festival and he's texting me. Not because he even thought about me but because I called him first about something else and so he thought well I'm bored, I'm thinking about home, I'll text Brit I know she's around.
I think for the first time in this sitch i'm not willing to take whatever morsel he throws my way. At first I felt like I'd hurt him so bad that maybe I didn't deserve his friendship or his trust and now I'm not. He hurt me pretty bad too. And I'm okay deciding how close he is to me.
