I'm not going out with him in public again. He was obviously eyeing the waitress who mildly flirted with him (young enough to be his daughter). Can't even have dinner with friends with him now. Ugh! Lesson learned.
Being Me, I have to ask why you would be having dinner out with this man after all of this? Honey, you have been through this for 8 years with this jackwagon...... Being Me, I think you have a problem setting and maintaining boundaries.
Thanks, Forward. I've done the best I could. Yet, nothing worked, except if I said nothing, and I instigated the hugs, etc. I think that wasn't working either ... he just didn't say so.
I kinda feel guilty being on Match, like I'm betraying my H (even though he did it). It's a different world, this new dating thing. Once I registered, it felt overwhelming the amount of guys winking and im'ing me. One, a soldier, in Afghanistan returning to Texas in 7 months. And, younger than me, or even my H who is 5 years younger than me. Can no-one find someone in the real world? What is the expectation on Match? I'm almost scared to go back on, after the busy weekend.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Being, Take your time. I spent several months doing nothing on there--just observing and making an occasional wink. I did not date while separated. This was actually a good thing for me. You've been at this on again/off again thing with your STBX for a long time, so you might be impatient. I found that after years of being separated, I still needed some time to grieve, but it wasn't the devastating thing that it would have been early on.
It was a long time to be alone, but I felt I was able to move to a good space sooner.
The other thing is, a lot of good guys don't want to date people who are separated. Would you want to date a guy who claims to be separated?
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
I'm honest about my status as well. I'm looking, but I'm not sure I'll actually go on a date. My H tells me that he only dated separated women. How "honorable" of him, I thought. I would prefer that men be honest about their status ... better then lying and saying you're divorced, when you're not. Someone asked me what I was looking for and I said (honestly) that I wanted friendship and see where it goes from there.
I'm more curious now, since my H did it. I wonder what it's like, but I'm keeping a healthy skepticism.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Is it safe to give someone your cell nr., Forward? A guy in Atlanta gave me his cell nr. to text, but after a couple of texts, I called it off. Not sure what anyone can do with a Canadian cell nr., but thought I'd check with you.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Being Me - No, don't give out your cell number. And don't bother with anyone long distance.
What if you decide you don't like the guy, or he has stalker tendencies - you don't want him calling your cell phone all the time.
Also - long distance folks are more likely to be scammers.
The way I see it - the online connection is just the first step to meeting in person. Don't get caught up in developing a relationship online - you may not be attracted at all once you meet. Just get to the coffee date and decide.
(P.S> some guys want your cell number so they can text you photos of their junk lol)
