from what I gather Vera (ms fierce to stbx) doesn't want him back. she isn't trying to turn anything around. She just wants to end it in the nicest possible way.
I think that Stbx is trying to get some sort of affirmation from her that everything is okay and that will ease his guilt/pain/discomfort in the sitch (I did it) In a way it's cake eating, it's knowing that she will always be there if and when he wants to have to dinner etc. I imagine that when the trip comes around if she were to show up he wouldn't like it. He might like the idea of it but not the reality.
Good job on telling him he needs to let you know when he's coming over. I rang H once and laid down the law about that. I was so sick of him discounting me in the relationship and I said you wouldn't do that your boss or your mom or your friends so why is it okay to not call me and tell me that you're going to be late. The next day he was going to pick up something for dinner and he texted me to say that he might be late so he'd bought it at lunch and put it in the fridge so it would be there when I got home. And I said wow you're never this thoughtful and he said well I'm scared of you now. Somehow that felt good. common courtesy was a phrase that come up a lot between us when we were in that roommate stage and it sounds like he doesn't get that either. He constantly expects you to make allowances for him.
