Some ups and downs over the last week. I went to have a beer with my B a few days ago and met up with a buddy I hadn't seen in a while. A series of poor decisions got me home with way to much to drink, and a bit of a mouth.
W was reasonably upset, and I apologized for the words I had said (which may have come from a reasonable place, but came out in a unreasonable way). She said the next day she was unsure what to do. I realize I took a lot of good work and flushed it in one night of drinking (sorry Mach1).
A couple days in, it seemed to be getting better, but tonight, W mentioned to S17 that she had a friend she went to HS with that had a S that enlisted, and died within a few months. She basically said, the kid was selfish and stupid, and I don't want you to do that.
When we got back to our room, I said that I thought her reasoning was unfair. While it may have been selfish and stupid, it could have been patriotic and unselfish. I didn't feel like we should portray military service as a dumb thing, and look down on those that serve. W blew up at me telling me she didn't care what my opinion was, that she had listened to it for too long, and that she just wanted to watch tv in peace.
She ended up going to the spare bedroom, saying "good night" and I said something in finish like "fine, I'm done with that kind of behavior."
I said at one point, regardless where we go, you're going to have to come to terms with the kids getting my opinion. She said, "that's fine, but I don't want to be lectured to about it. I said I didn't think I was lecturing, just trying to explain my point of view, but she didn't care.
When I went to check on the kids, W was asleep and I asked S17 for a private word. I explained to him W's point of view and mine, and he was ok with it. We agreed on not promoting military service in our family, but only disagreed on how to portray those that do. S17 was good with it, and I don't really think we have to worry about any of our children going that route. The only difference I see is that if they do, I support them, and W doesn't.
Kind of a crappy end to the weekend. I thought we were moving in the right direction, but honestly, I am getting tired of dealing with the crap. I want my M to work, but it's getting old me being the only one thinking that. I'm scared that I think it may be easier to move on than fix this.
