Thanks to my participation on the DB forums, I now undertsand that we have to choose our reality or it will be chosen for us.
I am more than happy to choose a reality with a willing and available female lover and sexual partner. Someone who a withdrawal of intimacy and affection would affect as much as it does me.
There was a woman I know who got married and instituted a "30 day rule". If over a 30 day period that her sexual and intimate needs were not met at least once, she would look outside the relationship to get them met. This was because she noticed at over 30 days, her sexual drive and desire started to wane. She had to take care of this part of herself, and felt it was very selfish for someone else to choose to do this to her.
Also, once every 30 days was not an option either, because someone who wants to "give" the bare minimum could try to sneak that one in.
I used to think it was mean. Now I don't think it's mean at all. I think a relationship should have these understandings up front.
