We went to openhouse at school this afternoon. W and S came over a little before noon. I was expecting that we would go out to eat but somewhere in the unspoken I sensed that they expected me to cook. I just went with it and fired up the grill. While I was outside W made herself at home and went to work in the kitchen making a couple sides. I didn't ask, hint, and certainly did not expect her to do that. It was nice. She even set the table and made my plate. Weird. She hasn't done that for me in years.
She mentioned a job that she would be applying for back home. It is with the same company she works for now. If I understand correctly the powers that be would be glad for her to take the position "If" her current boss gives his blessing for her to leave his area. She felt like it would be a long shot as the last person who wanted to transfer out from under this boss was denied. And this person had a W sick with cancer and the transfer would make life easier for them to attend treatment and be closer to home. The guy eventually just quit.
So this is the second time since she moved out that she has told me about trying to get a job back home. That is good news. It tells me she does not want to make a life out here.
I don't either. My long term plans take me back home. I want to raise our S there. Close to family. Builing a house on my 20 acres. Spending weekends showing S the fishing holes and hunting hot spots that were passed on to me. Finding new ones. Getting involved in the family business that my father has hinted around at for years that he would like me to join.
It makes my mouth water just thinking about it all.
So why don't I just go you might ask. I ask myself that often.
My son. That's it. And that's all.
I can't be away from him.
The only way I would feel good about myself is if he came back with me. The only way that would happen is if I could somehow get custody. And the kicker is I don't necessarily believe he is better off with me than with W. I don't know how I could claim she is unfit. It would be an outright lie. And that's just not me.
The only thing I have is how she travels and could not care for him alone. And that is a big deal. But what judge would give custody to a father who wants to quit his job, and move out of state? Hmm.
So I make the best of what I have now with my eye on the prize down the road.
