Bklyn Still Here P2

[BklynMom]

25, I totally hear what you are saying. I definitely dont want to go head to head with you in a line by line battle. It would make me into more of the old angry me.

But for me its revolutionary to understand that my feelings are right and justified even if I am totally wrong. Does that make sense?

Feelings are feelings and I feel hurt and that is neither right or wrong.

I feel so much better today after writing that post last night. I totally dont even feel angry today but I do still hurt, very deeply. For me not expressing my feelings at all is a big issue. Our kids have never ever seen H and I fight. In fact we only had about 4 fights over 9 years. We both kept our feelings bottled up. We were afraid to be angry or mad at each other.

We didnt know how to talk about problems so we pretended everything was peachy.

This forum and Al anon has helped me see that all relationships have challenges and we need to find reasonable ways to communicate our needs, our fears, our anger, etc.

DB and Al anon have improved my life in so many ways. I can totally handle issues that previously made me freak out.

One major thing for me is knowing I dont have to decide right this second. Sometimes before I make a decision I can come to these boards or call a friend and get some feedback. I dont need to take a survey per say but I dont need to respond to every minor thing as if a major emergency.

I totally feel myself evolving ever so slowly and I love it!

Is this a tangent?

Also 25 - I have read a lot of your post where you debunk the woman can have it all lifestyle or the "superwoman" and I totally agree with you. I I definitely lost myself in perfectionism of being a career woman and mom and wife all at the same time. (and maid and cook and driver and breastfeeder and...) It was toooo much.

Sheryl Sandberg and the others in the Woman can Have It All camp, really dont address some of the sacrifices that are made to supposedly have it all. Also some of these woman have entourages of help. I am grateful that I have the means to have someone clean my house but for must working moms that is not an option. It definitely takes a village and that is sometimes forgotten.

25 - again thats for your feedback it is really appreciated.