New to DB

[hopefulinga]

Did he eat the tart?

Last night was nice. I told H I was sorry that they didn't do better, that I knew they tried their best and that I think their BBQ is the best. He left me kiss him on the top of the head and rub his back briefly without jerking away, which is what he has been doing.

This morning he left me cook him breakfast and then he went to the airport to work on the RV. I went out there later this morning with D16, and that is when I slip backward and I am mad at myself for doing so.

H had the back tire balanced on the motorcycle and he was telling me about that because he picked it up this am, and about the bike of the guy that did the tire work. I went against what I said I would do and said something like "Maybe sometime I'll get to try out my seat." To which I got silence and he awkwardly turn away to pick up some trash.

I got angry. I've heard all of his exploits with ex-GFs and ex-Ws on the bikes, so yes, I am jealous. Why did he buy me a helment that cost about $160 and a $150 jacket? I'm also very hurt. So I sent him a text that said "I have about $500 in bike gear and I want to get my money out of it, do n you want me to put it on Craigslist or ebay?" I got no response.

D16 and I went back to the airport later and he was out riding. We ran some errands and then went back by. He rode to go buy some boots. I told him how nice they were. I asked him about his ride, where he eat and tried to make some small talk. He went outside of the room we were in and came back and asked my why I left my car running and if I was going to stay then turn it off or else leave. D16 asked him a question and then he said "what did you do, come out here to ask me a bunch of questions?"

I did tell him that the next time he went out to fly his model airplanes, that I would like to go. He said that he hadn't been in a while, and I said I know, I would like to go when you go in the future. He didn't say no. He thought for a few seconds and then said that I have nothing in common with him or anyone else that flys the models. I told him taht I enjoyed watching him and enjoyed when he took me to flyins. I also told him that now that someone was cleaning he house, the pressure was off of me.

He went back out and said he needed to do a few things so we got ready to leave. As we left, I told him that I really did enjoy watching him, but felt stressed and pressured about housework and that is why I stopped going in the past, which is the honest truth.

I used to go and got stressed out about doing the clothes and cleaning, so I stopped going. This is the hobby that he made a remark about me not watching him do.

I am hopeful that he will let me go watch, as I would love to. And I do miss it.