I am trying hard to keep my emotions in check. STBX reminded me again that he "Vowed" to never ride in the car with me again. I was trying to plan what to do when we are out of the house for 4 hours for the open house. I did it alone with the 3 dogs and 2 of them vomited all over my car. I had suggested we take them to the beach where we can let them out.
So the current plan is he takes the dogs by himself and he figures it out. I am so tired of his childish ways. I just don't even understand him. So that is why he hasn't done anything about the phone plan. Because we would go in the car together to do these things.
Too bad any other vows he made earlier in his life have been forgotten. And you have to love the black and white thinking.
I will take myself to the beach tomorrow and let him find out how long 4 hours is with 3 dogs who are barely leash trained....
Just Venting! My class will be arriving any minute, so I will have some fun and make some beautiful indigo stuff!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Yes, it can be so odd that they're adamant about keeping some vows, like not riding in the car with you, when others, like forsaking all others and til death do us part seem to be put by the wayside.
I wish I could just see inside my H's head for just a minute or two to see how his mind works right now. It makes no sense to me.
I like your plan to let him deal with the dogs on his own. You offered to help and he turned it down, so now he can see what you have to deal with.
M36 XH34 M-5 T7 4/11 H confused 5/11 ILYB 6/11 OW discovered 7/11 I move out, OW over 5/12-OW2,done->new EA, but H wont file 9/12 H "best bf ever" to EA/OW3 3/13 H/OW break up H files 4/13 D 6/18/13
Wendy, pending on my mood, I would have found it VERY hard not to say, "Well you vowed to be with me till death too.... but clearly the not riding in the car with me thing is waaay more important!"
LOL MLCers!
Also, I was catching up on reading your thread, I've found Dream Water is a fabulous way to get sleep! You can buy it in Wal-Mart, it's in the same medicine isle as all the other sleep aids (well here in PA anyway!).
Well by the time my class was over he had decided that since I'm keeping the dogs when we get divorced I should deal with them by myself tomorrow. He said I should take our S22 with me.
Unfortunately I had a phone call during the class and was offered 4 tickets to the Greek Festival tomorrow. I called my best friend and she and her husband said they would go with me. And I was going to bring S22. But I hadn't planned on bringing the dogs. I went to the website and I can't tell if it is even a dog friendly event.
And I didn't help matters by telling him I could hear her words coming out of his mouth. I wanted to just yell at him to just walk away and not look back. So now I went from happy mood with my fun class and fun plans for tomorrow to SNAFU.
Oh well, I guess I will just have to figure it out.
I switched to melatonin and it is working pretty well. I rub lavendar lotion on my hands and feet before I go to bed, too. I will look for Dream Water!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Wendy, I'm not surprised to hear that he turned the situation back around on you about the dogs. After thinking about it, he realized the amount of work it would take to keep the dogs away from the house. Typical MLC behavior to put it back on you...PA behavior at it's finest!
I do hope that you are going to the Greek Festival. You need a break. I would suggest that your h take the dogs for a while and when you are done w/the festival offer to take over the dog sitting. You may be taking the dogs after the divorce, but until that time, you both share in their care and love. Please do not change your plans...you've done that enough for this man.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
My oldest son offered to watch the dogs. About that time STBX decided he would take the dogs and hang out with oldest son and granddaughters. The open house is only from 2-5, But there are always stragglers, so it is best to not plan for the dogs to be back until about an hour later.
So I will attend the Greek Festival.
One of the funny things about him complaining about the dogs was he yelled at me that I should take the dogs to my boyfriends house. I told him that wouldn't work. But funny how part of his anger is with me for dating. I didn't ask NG/CT to the Greek Fest. He doesn't keep in touch very well and that is yet another thing I don't need in my life.
Okay, time to clean some windows! Let's hope someone comes along today and figures out this is the house of their dreams!
Aloha,
Wendy
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Yes, it is always amazing how they want to have their affairs but still get jealous at the thought of YOU dating someone. It's like it never even occurred to them, that if THEY went off with someone else, you MIGHT not be sitting home waiting for them as their Plan B forever.
Forget the conspiracy theorist guy, though - you can do much better. Maybe you'll meet someone today at the festival?
Hi Wendy ... hope you enjoyed the festival, and that the house showed well.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Funny, I did meet someone at the festival. My friends had invited some of their friends to join us. And one of my best friends husbands co-workers was there. He hadn't seen me since Thanksgiving, when he came as a straggler with my friends.
He told me how great I looked. Twice. He also offered for me to keep my SUP at his house so I would have an easier place to take it out from. Funny, because I had been wishing I had a friend who lived on the water.
I was blazingly hot at the festival. We ended up at Macy's where we found shoes at 75% off and then another 20% off with my coupon. $23 for two pairs of shoes! Score!!! And I found a beautiful pair for my friend, hers were under $10.
The realtor told me it went well. One couple seemed interested, they wanted owner financing, that just isn't going to happen!
I called my bank the other day and talked rates and such for me to buy a house. It is all looking good. Better if I get a job. I can get a house I can afford the payment on with the alimony and my share of his military retirement. I can pay it off sooner if I get an income going. I'm working on a 10 year plan. Moving on with my life.
Looking forward to seeing what is next in my life. I watched the sun come up this morning. I am going to miss that beautiful sunrise. But maybe I'll enjoy whatever view it is I end up having. Maybe the view will be someone who loves waking up looking at me......
Hope you all had a nice weekend!
Me 57 XH 58 Sons age 32 & 27 M:32 D final 9/12 Bought 10 Acres and Living the Dream!
Wendy, I'm glad your plans turned out well. You needed a break and the Greek Festival was a great way to get out and enjoy yourself.
Your h was throwing a tantrum yesterday about the dogs and when he saw your son stepping up to the plate to watch them, notice how he opted to go along too? He's mad at the world, but most importantly, he's mad at himself and doesn't understand why he's doing the things he's doing.
I hope that your home sells quickly so that you can get settled in a new place before the end of the calendar year. You've had to put up w/a lot over the months and the stress is constantly knocking at your door.
Shoe sales are wonderful and Macy's always has great sales, especially w/coupons!
Enjoy your week. Things are starting to look up for you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
