Went to far this time, we crossed a line that shouldn't be crossed while he's still with OW. Guilt and fun, all at the same time...Trying out our "test" theory. And I will repeat, how many tests until one has to take the final exam? So how messed up is that?
He feels super-guilty for all this of course. He felt guilty about phone calls, so physical is that much worse. He's afraid to tell OW because she might want to leave R. And I feel bad that it hurts him - more. Not what I want to leave him with when he thinks of me... *He did tell her a little bit, but that's his story, not mine. She's still around, for now*
He also worries that I see him "doing" this behavior and what must I think of him? Honestly, I think he made a choice today to no longer be with OW by his actions. Just not quite ready to accept/deal with it yet. Because he is not a cheater - never would've done anything like this EVER - until faced with these circumstances.
He also confessed that he found this thread yesterday, told me after our visit. Not sure if he's going to keep checking it...It's ok because I don't share anything that I wouldn't want him to read anyway.
I think it's interesting that he saw all this yesterday and still initiated contact today to meet.
I know he's messed up and needs time to process all this. Will wait it out, for as long as it takes.
He is still encouraging me to date. See what else is out there. Been there, done that. Nothing that interests me right now...
I told him that our behaviour today left me wondering if instead of tearing down the wall, that maybe I can find my way to the other side of it...Lust/passion is a strong emotion!
We've also agreed that email/phone is OK, but no more f2f - unless in public place.
