this is a terrible example of her "Cake eating" b/c you are making it up in your head about what's in her head.
That you dropped her off and she got out of the car to get the money and did not invite you in to join her
does NOT mean she is "ashamed" of you. Where'd you get that?? I think she was in a hurry and was tired, like she said, and which made sense.
I mean this is stuff you are inventing to feel miserable. That's not on her.
You did not have to offer her a ride and she didn't even ask for one but once you gave it to her, so what? I mean, I don't know why you are spinning that into such a negative event.
ANYHOW, don't use your w's family to gather intel or manipulate the situation/outcome.
It's right in the rules not to do that AND it's in the books too, AND it's there for a reason. Can you imagine why that might be?
Plus, don't tell me that's not about control.
You will argue that "all of this is, in a way, about control b/c we want to save our m's" and you'd have a point but you'd also be missing a big part of why we are here.
WE work on ourselves and as a result we become better people. Better r's come from that self improvement, but it's our inner work that is the goal, and the improved r's are a collateral byproduct of becoming better people.
RE the SIL
Why not just be grateful you have an ally and leave it, discreetly, at that?
I think Pushing for more will backfire on you.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
