I know you had asked what I was going through then. I think every person is different so Im not sure what help I would be. I can tell you that I never wanted to be without my H because I loved him very much and wanted him in my life for the rest of my life. He was trying too hard to make things right what I continually made wrong. He always was there to fix. It was a total turnoff. I needed to fix myself and he wanted to do it for me. Let her come to realize what she is doing in her own. The more you may want to fix the situation for her, the more she is going to continue to walk towards the OM.
With that being said, I was also cake eating as Bond had pointed out to me, (thanks Bond) because I did want my H there as well. I do love him, and I did want him there. But I was confusing myself with the EA as well.
You have to let her figure herself out otherwise she will only run faster. It took a divorce and my husband to walk away from me for me to realize what it was that I had wanted all along. But as he did that, he is also giving me the chance to fix myself. He isnt there trying to do it for me any longer. In all honesty, I wish he would have walked away three years ago when I had the PA. I would have got it then, and we probably wouldn't be divorced.
I wish I'd read this before now. You are right. I'm still trying to help fix her and she is running. but, she is also cake eating. Is it selfish acts or simply because she knows she can? I don't know but one thing is for sure, I facilitated it tonight.
She spent the day here with D8 and I was around so we mostly stayed in different rooms (me practicing my guitar and her playing with D8) although it was still pleasant. At 6 pm I left to go meet a friend and W and D8 went to a park downtown by bicycle. By the time I got back around 10, she was still here getting ready to leave and she said something to the effect that she was tired and had a long ride on the bike to get some money from a job she did and then get home. I fell for it. I told her I could take her if she wanted. And so she did and so i did. It turns out that the place where I ended up taking her was the same bar where she played with OM 2 years ago and when we got there, she simply dismissed me saying she'd get a ride home from someone else.
I know, I have no reasons to be angry but still, I am, and it hurts. I know, it's all in my imagination but the feeling that she didn't want me in there with her, and that she was ashamed/embarrassed to be seen with me (again my imagination) is very painful. I walked into this one by myself and this is the last time I do this. It serves me right for pursuing. I just miss her so much and I want to be with her now.
Sorry about this. I guess I'm venting here because I kept my cool there. Will I ever learn?
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
