MLC with depression....double the fun!

[albamarie]

the reason i consider it arrogant is because he did not, has not, discussed anything about this with me. it feels as if he just wants to be able to do what he wants, when he wants, because he can.

I mean really, if he want to be a H, a father, have a R, wouldn't there be a mature, rational, man behind those thoughts. A man that would have come to me, talked things through a little, discussed some plan of action, agree to some terms (for both of us)?

Every story I read about a marriage in repair, there is communication, understanding, forgiveness, a learning of how to be together again after the pain. Not, oh by the way, I've been trying to ''come home'' this last week, but certain things have to happen for "ME'' to stay on that track.

I suspect manipulation because he has worked through nothing, like he just wants to manipulate his way "home'' because it is his family, so who will stop him. After being thrown under the bus for so long...this, not working out, can easily be the platform from which he spews how he tried.

obviously he's made his mind up...so what action do I take? I know gal...stay focused on myself...but, I have learned here that healing takes two, talking, love, not bulldozing.

I never show him hostility!!!! I get sick sometimes how I have to watch him smoke, bit his nails, look as his Einstein hair, watch tv for hours, never take me out, and still I never say an unkind word.

we need to work on soo much....this is not the road to forgivingness for either on of us.

I'm sorry if i sound hostile...I really only sound that way through my writing. I am (as people say) sweet, kind, mild mannered, and require only the simple things in life to be happy.

Getting a car is an instrument for GAL...i live in the suburbs...want to work...go to the gym...go to the city...aside from H schedule, see he took "my" car for himself when his broke down (3yrs ago).

Now I have a job interview Tue. went to the health food store 20 miles away for "my" type of foods, and spent the day at the dunes with my kids. It's something!