To Lovingly Detach

[Mrs D]

Arsene.. looks like you are getting great advice from 25, Bond, Carnac and KD. Continue doing what you are doing, and for goodness sakes - follow the advice you have given me!!

As for what I was going through, and for the most part, I know the EA had more of an affect on my H because it lasted longer. The PA three years ago was one night. As much as that hurt my H as well, I know we were past that. It was the EA and the stubborness in me at the time that ended my marriage.

I know you had asked what I was going through then. I think every person is different so Im not sure what help I would be. I can tell you that I never wanted to be without my H because I loved him very much and wanted him in my life for the rest of my life. He was trying too hard to make things right what I continually made wrong. He always was there to fix. It was a total turnoff. I needed to fix myself and he wanted to do it for me. Let her come to realize what she is doing in her own. The more you may want to fix the situation for her, the more she is going to continue to walk towards the OM.

With that being said, I was also cake eating as Bond had pointed out to me, (thanks Bond) because I did want my H there as well. I do love him, and I did want him there. But I was confusing myself with the EA as well.

You have to let her figure herself out otherwise she will only run faster. It took a divorce and my husband to walk away from me for me to realize what it was that I had wanted all along. But as he did that, he is also giving me the chance to fix myself. He isnt there trying to do it for me any longer. In all honesty, I wish he would have walked away three years ago when I had the PA. I would have got it then, and we probably wouldn't be divorced.

Just my thoughts, and everyones thoughts are different. Keep up the good work my friend.