thanks ces - your post made me relax - here i was, getting revved up to beat myself up for not keeping my cool - and then all of you come to laugh about it!!
don't you know that i'm worried about having undone a year of DB'ing , all in one moment (laughing at myself - how we still keep protecting...)
what you described - didn't sound like you were angry at all - or did you shout it at her? you forgot to mention the tone you used.
mine was more like a monologue for 2 or 3 minutes - definitely chastised him - thus the eye rolling - so somethings haven't changed - for me - still have to work on them
i believe i've got a lot of work to do on myself still. i tried to use "I " statements but landed up using way too many "you" statements.
i believe an apology is due him from my end - but not an appeasing one - just one clearly stating that i should not have lost my cool and used "you" statements but instead have discussed my frustrations in a calm way where we both could interact, and he could say his piece . and if it was okay with him, could we have that conversation again, calmly, so that i could practice my new skills at communication
okay so the wink was me being a tad bit goofy here
thanks ces
and yes - s seems better - though this was the first time i sent them off without a smile...
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
