To put a finer point on it: they chose to walk away. Preference or not, it is what it is.
My ex accused me of many things. One she tried, was to say I cheated on her. Another accusation was that I failed and that our divorce was "pathetic". I pointed out then and still believe, that while I'm not perfect and certainly had my own issues that may or may not have contributed to the demise, I did not fail. She walked away.
It's never over until somebody stops trying. That's reality. Acceptance of that is what takes a while, often because we continue to try long after they walked away. We try until either things change or until we have nothing left to try. It's also reality because it is who we are.
I can accept that peacefully knowing it is real and not anger or blaming or anything other than what it is.
B's right, divorce is tough. It's tougher if you make it that way.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
