Remember they are scared.....I really think they want to trust us but they are incredibly worried about what will happen if they do. You've gotta show through every action that if she trusts you enough to start moving back towards you that it is "safe" there.

I've been told multiple times that I have to make every effort to show my wife that I am a "soft, safe place to land". I don't think that means you become a doormat, but it does mean that you show empathy....for me personally im working really hard to learn empathy...not that I dont have any, its just that I don't normally use it. My theory used to always be whatever your problem happened to be just get over it and move on...this has taught me that things aren't always that simple and to others their problems, or what is bothering them may be just as big as this situation is to me.

If they're feeling bad about something and it hurts them/disturbs them as much as this situation has disturbed me then I need to learn how to share in that pain with them the same way we share in each other's pain here and really care about what they are going through b/c it matters to them.


M:39 W:41
T:15 M:12
SS:16 S:11
WAW:6/15/12
JER. 29:11