Yeah, I wouldn't worry too much about the fact that she didn't approach you today. I'm sure the gears are grinding in her head and she's got a lot to process right now. Keep it together. You're doing great!
Freshman Class of 2012
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
Thanks Arsene...I didnt worry too much about the NC from her last night because I was really expecting buyers remorse from her....the fact that I noticed her looking that way as if to catch my eye on 2 different occasions is a bonus to me.
I did have an absolute blast with the kids at practice last night....probably more fun than I normally have and I really think its all about perspective/outlook....I went in determined to keep a smile on my face and be in a great mood and I spent the entire time doing that. Maybe I have to fake it til I make it, but I am determined to smile more, be a nicer guy, care about others more. Im sure to some who have known me a long time its gonna seem pretty fake for a bit b/c brooding might have been a good description of me for a long time, but it really has lifted my entire outlook to simply smile more.
Anyway, thats my thoughts on Friday....got a full weekend, my local high schools annual scrimmage is this evening, my sons team plays tomorrow afternoon, think im going to play golf in the morning b/4 his game and then i've got church on Sunday and hopefully a little downtime Sunday afternoon.
M-49 W-42 1D-10 T 10 YEARS M 9 YEARS EA/MLC 07/2010 Separation 28/05/2012 PA confirmed 31/07/12 W Asked for D 31/07/12 D on and off the table since then
I dont even know what to write tonight, but am feeling somewhat blue and I don't really even know why. I guess part of it would be b/c my W really just doesn't really like talking to me at all right now and since my S11 has football every Saturday we're around one another every Saturday and she seems to want to make it awkward. The little bit she did talk tonight was about needing to have brakes put on her car tomorrow, I told her there was probably not going to be anywhere local where she could get that done but offered to do it for her tonight if she wanted. She was willing to let me but seemed a bit strange about it like she really didnt want me to. I know that acts of service are a big deal to her, but at the same time I also know that since I 'pushed' her into a lot of things when we were still living together and she has said she has trouble setting boundaries that it was quite a bad position to be in trying to push her into letting me do them.
We left the game in seperate cars and it had been decided I would do the brake job but I still felt pretty weird about it so on the drive home I sent her a text telling her that while i'd be happy to do it I didnt want her to feel pressured to let me and it was completely up to her. Well I got a really nice text back saying she would really appreciate it if I did them b/c it would make her feel much safer in her car if they were done, but I know that my S11 sent the text b/c at the end he told me he was typing for her. I think he must have had her phone texting his new girlfriend when I sent the text to her and he probably read it to her and she told him what to respond, but I have a feeling part of her response was because he had seen the text I sent and if she had told me know she would have had to explain to him why. I know thats alot of mind reading there and I've really gotta get better about just taking things as they are, but she tends to be emotionally dishonest especially if he is involved in any way.
I will say that I finished and took her car back to her and I had told her before that I wouldnt bother her since it might be late and i'd simply park it in the garage and leave the keys in it so thats what I did and just left. The light was still on in the master bath so I knew she was up but she was probably in the tub....she usually relaxes in there on Saturday nights...so I get back to my house and actually got a nice text thanking me for doing that for her and telling me goodnight. Guess i'll take that at face value and go to bed considering this a good evening
I know it Starsky and im trying hard to keep from doing it, but when you know someone so well its easy at times to assume you know what they're thinking.
MrsD. I guess it was a good interaction....im still a little iffy on it. Honestly I had a miserable night of sleep and finally figured out why and its something I didnt put in my post last night. As we were leaving the field yesterday I heard my S11 talk to her about him and her going to church this morning and she was telling him that she 'might' be able to but she had some errands to run and later she told me she might need to drop him off and let me take him b/c she had to get these things done on her car and apparently the 1 1/2 hours during church was the only time to get it done.
I guess I just don't understand the change...church has always been incredibly important to her and when we first split she actually had her dad tell me that she was still planning to go each week. Since we split she's been there 2 times in about 10 weeks now and she used to be there 3 times per week. I think thats why I had a miserable night of sleep b/c i've thought all along if she gave that up our chances would be greatly diminished.
Maybe it will help that i put that down and i'll keep working and trying to move forward.
Hey Carnac, Remember we discussed the changes both are spouses seem to be doing and it doesnt necessarily mean for the better? I think its one of those things. She will hopefully come out of whatever shes going through and see the changes shes made. I really think she will come around.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
I know it Starsky and im trying hard to keep from doing it, but when you know someone so well its easy at times to assume you know what they're thinking. . . .
I guess I just don't understand the change...church has always been incredibly important to her and when we first split she actually had her dad tell me that she was still planning to go each week. Since we split she's been there 2 times in about 10 weeks now and she used to be there 3 times per week. I think thats why I had a miserable night of sleep b/c i've thought all along if she gave that up our chances would be greatly diminished.
Maybe it will help that i put that down and i'll keep working and trying to move forward.
I started to answer this first part for you, but then I see that your second part answers it for yourself. You do NOT know her as well as you think you do in her current frame of mind. Sometimes it's that we didn't know them as well as we think we did (rather, we knew an IMAGE of them that we wished they were), and often it's just that they're all hopped up on their waywardness and they have temporarily changed. Sometimes it's a combination of the two.
Thanks again Starsky and I think your correct on both parts...I didnt know her as well as I thought I did, although the moral and church beliefs I actually did know, but the second part is true as well, I really don't know whats going on in her head right now. I like to think she hasn't thrown away every belief she's had for most of her life, but at least temporarily maybe she has.
She did show up at church this morning with S11, he's been pretty adamant about going and has been putting heat on her to go.....its interesting I read once that some kids in a divorce/seperation situation sometimes end up acting out and some become more moralistic and he's definitely become more moralistic. Anyway, she was clearly not comfortable when she arrived, but by the time it was over she stood around forever talking to people and was having a great time. So I was incredibly happy to see that.
I had to finish the work on her car this afternoon after church and my son went with me to a friends shop where i was working on it and he said that he couldnt wait until Christmastime and I asked him why he was already worried about Christmas b/c I was shocked he was already worried about it and he said b/c thats when me and W's trial seperation would be over. I really didnt konw what to say to him at that point so I just let it go but I hate to think that he thinks all that has to be done is we live seperately until Christmas and then we'll be back together.
All in all the weekend has been interesting to say the least but I think its been pretty good.
