MLC with depression....double the fun!

[zig]

I read this here: I just "crash." I feel it coming on and I simply crash.


i know that feeling and doing that - and i did it for far too long.

For me i'm beginning to see it as my "comfort Zone" - it's easier to sink into that crashing feeling, go with it and just get consumed by it.

after all - it's very familiar and therefore "safe" and much much easier than doing the tougher thing..

after all it's what the WAS is doing....

so just recently I made a commitment not to crash, or if I couldn't help it, to crash slowly and more gently - to do it differently.

I started reading Pema Chodron a year ago - and oddly enough this sentence of hers - took a year to penetrate my brain - now i find myself saying it when I start to crash -

If you have to itch, then itch in slow motion

The itch basically refers to crashing - so if we cannot resist crashing, then at least crash slowly - be aware that you are crashing, be aware that you are choosing to crash, but mostly be aware that you can make the choice not to crash.

and that way, we can gently get ourselves out of that complete black hole that we sink into... even if it's only once in a while, it's way more than never

zig