Well of course I would want it to be that reason for sure. Like hes seeing possible changes, maybe reaching out to see if they are true? And the reason why I guess would be cause I DO want him to see I am making positive changes. Would it change anything wihin me if this were the case? Of course it would. Because even though I know I am moving forward for myself, it still feels good and give a little boost that he MAY be seeing the changes. Does that make sense?
It makes perfect sense. It is neither right nor wrong, it is just that people have their reasons for interpreting something certain ways. It serves us, to believe how we perceive something.
You are wanting to perceive it in a certain way, which for you appears positive. If you use that as motivation, it means you are having expectations.
So all I ask is that you recognize that you wish to see it in a positive light. In itself, that may help you remain positive in your interactions with H... and hopefully, that will snowball...
Just keep working on you and keep being the better and better woman that MIGHT attract your X back, one day.
It makes perfect sense. It is neither right nor wrong, it is just that people have their reasons for interpreting something certain ways. It serves us, to believe how we perceive something.
You are wanting to perceive it in a certain way, which for you appears positive. If you use that as motivation, it means you are having expectations.
So all I ask is that you recognize that you wish to see it in a positive light. In itself, that may help you remain positive in your interactions with H... and hopefully, that will snowball...
Just keep working on you and keep being the better and better woman that MIGHT attract your X back, one day.
And i dont want expectations, so it really was a bad perception then, right?
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Woke up in a semi better mood. Actually my thoughts were - if he really wanted to be with this girl, then so be it. I know in the bottom of my heart - I AM the better option. And Im working to make myself an even BETTER option.
I love that man, but you know what? I love myself more. The end.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Not answering for KD but the thought is not good or bad,it's what you do with that.
Building expectations based on your perception is what will get you more heartache.
Thanks Bug - I understand what you are saying. And perhaps I was building an expectation because thats what I really want him to see. I woke up feeling stronger this morning. I know I made alot of mistakes in our marriage, and I know I am working on my issues. If H sees what I am doing. Good. If he doesnt. Who cares. Im doing it for myself and myself only.
Actually maybe I woke up with anger now that I think of it. Maybe this is what I need to push forward and move on. Im tired of seemly keeping myself in the pity party. Im tired of wondering what they are doing. Im tired of hurting myself with the constant thoughts of them. Im never going to fix myself if I continueally stay here. I need to act as if. Maybe Im finally getting it...
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Woke up in a semi better mood. Actually my thoughts were - if he really wanted to be with this girl, then so be it. I know in the bottom of my heart - I AM the better option. And Im working to make myself an even BETTER option.
I love that man, but you know what? I love myself more. The end.
Hey mods, where's the "standing ovation" smiley button???
Yes, that will help spur you to a different place, but you'll come back and visit this place. Almost 18 months from BD and I can still get into the 'poor me' mode, it just passes more quickly. Meditation does help.
This is not a linear process, so don't have that expectation either. Some lessons have to be repeated.
You are getting it.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
Woke up in a semi better mood. Actually my thoughts were - if he really wanted to be with this girl, then so be it. I know in the bottom of my heart - I AM the better option. And Im working to make myself an even BETTER option.
I love that man, but you know what? I love myself more. The end.
Hey mods, where's the "standing ovation" smiley button???
Starsky
Thanks Starsky - still alittle emotional I guess since the standing ovation brought tears to my eyes.
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Yes, that will help spur you to a different place, but you'll come back and visit this place. Almost 18 months from BD and I can still get into the 'poor me' mode, it just passes more quickly. Meditation does help.
This is not a linear process, so don't have that expectation either. Some lessons have to be repeated.
You are getting it.
Thanks Bug. Actually I saw a pix of her this morning. And thats what kicked the anger as well. Im just done with all that because I DO know I am the better option. And Im just going to get better! No more contact. And being VERY reserved with the little conversations we will have about our son. Wow. I think I had an epiphany over night or something..
M:43/ H:39 T:12/ M:9 S8, D15 M affair(one night): 2/09 M EA: 2/12-7/12 D:6/7/12 H: GF since 7/24/12
God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Good for you MrsD and remember to review those words often b/c it takes time for that to stick. Remind yourself often that as much as you would like to keep contact....its not good for you, nor is it good for your goals. And im talking about both of your goals #1 to make yourself into a better person #2 to make your next relationship incredible (hopefully with your ex but either way it is going to be so much better if you do #1 first)
