After a good nights sleep - and yes it was a good one, I've woken up to the most beautiful day this year so far. Blue skies, birds singing. The lot.
I'm going to try, and succeed, in washing away what's happened and throw my concentration onto what I should have been doing for weeks (if not years).
I can't change what has happened, much to my sorrow. I can't possibly know what's coming up - except to do my best in ensuring its not due to me being complacent.
I'm actually in a much better "place" than I could have imagined. I've got the books - busy re-reading them. I've had excellent advice (which I ignored over and over and over again!), I've got friends who understand and are supportive in what counts (and who do not stick their noses in). I've got family who are out there and also understand (this time).
What more could anyone want? Or need?
This is the start of a fresh leaf. And now let's just get on with it.
Zig - no slap today, no ice and no running up and down stairs (I haven't got any). But lots of reading to do. You've been waiting for little old me? It wasn't that I was ignoring you - it was sleepy time half way round the planet
but don't get on a high about it - yeah i'm relentless!!
no seriously - that's my pattern too, get high about how good i'm doing and then periodically crash and spin.
so pace yourself. and it's not time yet to stop reading that list - you're only on day 2!!
and you are going to still need the slaps, ice and physical exercise.
mac - i'm still not hearing you STATE your commitment here in writing.
look - i'm going to be brutally honest here.
If the way you function and respond on this board is ANY indication of the way you function in life - you have some stuff to work on within yourself. If i lived with you and you responded as you do here - I would be very frustrated and eventually very resentful
That last post of yours - when i read it - my reaction was - unbelievable - he's sending me off to read another post about the past. there was no acknowledgement that you had read anything i had written yesterday AT ALL!!
I just about gave up and left your thread. but you're so charming that i was like - well one more try - maybe there's indication in what you linked
and i get really surprised because it's your new thread. you almost lost me there
so mac - it's time to sit down and look in the mirror and start to figure out - how do you really respond to the people around you. try to be on the other side and see what they see.
i've been doing that - and for myself the pic is not so pretty. it's hard to face stuff about ourselves - and so what we do to avoid that - is to focus on what others are doing.
this transition takes a while, and when it's too painful we slip and start focusing on others again
brutal reality? it's about this.
so when you take a break from reading - go work on your goals list - it's got lost somewhere in the last few days, keep reading what you printed out every 20 mins and bring that goals list on to here so we can refine it.
think of the next few days as a serious spa visit where you clean yourself inside and come out a little rejuvenated on the other side
i'll check in periodically okay?
you are doing great - awareness IS the first step.
i know it's hard - so we all know what you are going through
((((((((( ))))))))))))))
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
glad to hear that you've been so busy you don't have time to spin!!
as for boring us with all the positives - i think you have that backwards!! please come tell us about the positives - so we can keep encouraging you and cheer you along. that's as important as the difficult times
alos - i still haven't seen you working on your goals - will you make an attempt now, when you are feeling a bit more stable?
hope to talk to you soon and hear from you also
(((((((( )))))))) zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
I don't like it to be honest. I haven't seen him here, nor heard from him via email. If I remember correctly, the last time he went "silent" he came back and stated that all was well, they had worked things out, and he was moving on.
I am hoping that his silence means he is out GAL and having too much fun to stop and post here.
(((Hugs)))
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
