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Mrs D #2274402 08/24/12 12:21 AM
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You could be right.

So let me ask you this...

What would you PREFER was his reason? Even though you know it is HIS reason and does not matter for you... what would you prefer?

And why?

Then, figure out how to have that simply be information that you KNOW that YOU CONTRIVED so that it fits into what serves you.

Have no expectations around that thought.

And continue to work on yourself and move forward...

It is OK and NORMAL to have those thoughts. Just be sure that if you feel you MUST have those thoughts... that they do not consume you nor affect your path...

Mrs D #2274403 08/24/12 12:22 AM
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Mindreading.

Has your son crashed since you've been divorced? That does change things a bit.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
MrBond #2274405 08/24/12 12:24 AM
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Originally Posted By: MrBond
"Thoughts?"

My thought is you need to stop overthinking things. If it's not this incidence it's going to be something else. When you start to overthink things, your imagination can go wild and you'll start coming up with conclusions that are far far from the truth.


Im good for over thinking, over analyzing ..... just wish this all could be easier..


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
~ kd ~ #2274407 08/24/12 12:30 AM
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Well of course I would want it to be that reason for sure. Like hes seeing possible changes, maybe reaching out to see if they are true? And the reason why I guess would be cause I DO want him to see I am making positive changes. Would it change anything wihin me if this were the case? Of course it would. Because even though I know I am moving forward for myself, it still feels good and give a little boost that he MAY be seeing the changes. Does that make sense?


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
labug #2274408 08/24/12 12:32 AM
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Originally Posted By: labug
Mindreading.

Has your son crashed since you've been divorced? That does change things a bit.



Hi Labug. Yes. He crashes all the time. In my presence. In my exs.. our son is good being consoled by either ..

Can I ask why that would make a difference?


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Mrs D #2274409 08/24/12 12:37 AM
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Because when you're married you both have custody of S and these kinds of mishaps are just a part of family life.

When you have visitation and custody arrangements, it changes that. I would want to know.

And this is all new territory for you S, so it may make him a little less sure of things.


Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss
labug #2274412 08/24/12 12:43 AM
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Originally Posted By: labug
Because when you're married you both have custody of S and these kinds of mishaps are just a part of family life.

When you have visitation and custody arrangements, it changes that. I would want to know.

And this is all new territory for you S, so it may make him a little less sure of things.


Its possible about our son, but he didnt call to let me know it happened. He never had before, not sure why he would all the sudden. Thats why it was so weird to me....


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Mrs D #2274417 08/24/12 01:13 AM
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MrsD....you said the other day that you and your son were incredibly close and that your ex isnt really with him much right now or doesn't seem very interested in being a dad right now....that could be a big reason your son wanted you to console him, he probably recognizes that as well


M:39 W:41
T:15 M:12
SS:16 S:11
WAW:6/15/12
JER. 29:11
Carnac #2274421 08/24/12 01:28 AM
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Originally Posted By: Carnac
MrsD....you said the other day that you and your son were incredibly close and that your ex isnt really with him much right now or doesn't seem very interested in being a dad right now....that could be a big reason your son wanted you to console him, he probably recognizes that as well


Good thought it Carnac. Im gonna tuck it away and not worry/think about it any longer. It is was it is.

Had a good night hanging out with our son. Still thinking too much about everything that should have, could have... didnt get done. Think I am going to say my prayers and head to bed when our son goes. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
Arsene #2274433 08/24/12 02:18 AM
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You are right Arsene. Sorry for the delay. I guess I missed you post earlier. I know it has been just a short time. And I know 5 weeks isnt anything what he went through the past three years. I have to just be patient and take the if its meant to be attitude.

Thanks also for the insight on what he may be going through right now. I guess me just "picturing" them happy and such didnt give me what he may or may not be thinking as well regarding the sitch. Hopefully tomorrow Ill be back on track, get off this sad, lonely train I was riding..... I need to be the better option. That was totally not me today by any means.

Btw. Im into your second thread... havent forgot about ya. wink


M:43/ H:39
T:12/ M:9
S8, D15
M affair(one night): 2/09
M EA: 2/12-7/12
D:6/7/12
H: GF since 7/24/12

God,Family, and the Green Bay Packers. - Vince Lombardi
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