Now separated. Am I doing the right things? Pt 2

[Denver_2010]

Dangerous ground. You have three options:

1) Defer to Third Party: Both of you sit down with the Financial Advisor you sat down with last time when the $1,000 was agreed upon and go over the budget and agreement again. If she feels you have "minimal bills" and that you're not paying your share, then the only way to diffuse that is for a third party to tell her. If you tell her it just turns into a pissing contest. "W, it's important to me to turn around our financial situation. Part of that requires me to earn more money, but the second more important part is to create a budget of what we can afford and stick to it. If we cheat on that budget, we'll never get where we want to be. If you'd like, we can sit down with the financial counselor again to review the budget and see how we might come up with more money between the two of us."

2) Agree to Her Request: If YOU think it's a fair and reasonable request and you can agree to it, then give her the extra money. Maybe she'll make the requests a habit, but maybe she won't. You can fight the battle on the second request just as easily as you can on the first.

3) Deny Her Request: Tell her that you agreed on $1,000 per month, and that you will need to stick to that. Per Mr. Bond, if you want to buy the school supplies on your own instead, you can do that, but IMO if you reply with "How about if I buy the school supplies", you may be implying that you think she's lying to you about the reason for needing the money. I don't know if that's important or not.

Your decision

Accuray

Yeah, gotta disagree with ACC here. Your W has chosen to create a life without you, separate from you. Let her learn what that is going to mean. Who cares if she thinks that you think that she is lying about the reason for needing xtra money. That is not in your control.

You agreed to give her $1000 per month. Stick to that. Tell her to give you the list of school supplies and then go buy them. If she becomes upset, just restate what you agreed to do and leave it.