Your story is not a lot different than mine. We've been married 20 years, have 3 kids and I got the bomb a little over 2 months ago. My first response was like yours, I showered her with the affection I had not shown her over the last 10+ years. But my wife has been steadfast in insisting it's over and nothing will change her mind because she doesn't "want to try". Don't expect any sudden miracles, it took years for your wife to get to this position (same as mine) and if there is to be a turnaround it will take quite some time. Michele has a quote in DB from someone on the forums that says for every year of marriage expect a month of repair time, so for a 10 year marriage it can take 10 months to convince a spouse to reconcile. Just stick with your 180's and be patient. Being patient is by far the hardest part, my 2 months (so far) has seemed like 2 years.
And remember, doing a 180 does not mean ignoring your wife, it means doing the opposite of what you've been doing. So if you yelled at her a lot, then quit. If you didn't listen to her, start. If you watched a lot of TV, quit. If you didn't help around the house, start. And be consistent, as Michele says one small consistent act speaks more than words ever will. Good luck!
