New to DB

[hopefulinga]

You are correct. I am trying to not be as sensitive, and I will admit it is a struggle. Does he go out of his way to tick me off? Sometimes, possibly. With this, no. I don't think he knows he is upsetting me. Trying to do everything and be everything around the house, and keep up a job and civic activities, is pretty tiring. And I'm down right tired. I need help, too. And my fault is I assume he knows that. And then I attack instead of appropriately expressing my feelings.

For most of my life, compliments were few. And the one's H gave me and the help he gave me meant a lot. And I was and am very thankful for all of that.

Then somewhere along the lines those compliments changed into criticisms on your part. And soon, the compliments stopped and the criticisms remained. That's what needs to change.

This is my biggest and probably most challenging 180. I am complimenting more and biting my tounge if I feel like I am going to be critical. I've got to learn to do this when I get mad at things I cannot control. While I haven't DBed before, I've read some other books about marital communication and did some 180s in the past. They worked for a while and then the R got comfortable, and we both got back on the mouse wheel.

Thank you for breakinng this down for me. It is very helpful.