can Turtles still stand?

[zig]

labug - thank you

I will savor what you wrote for the rest of my life as a parent.

thank YOU for doing all the work so you could share this with me.

you have helped me to take a step in the right direction as a parent for what is probably the first time since s was born.

And so I imposed more limits because I was fearful.

^^^ is where i have been for far too long - you and KD have tried so much to help me see that - and i have made my own path to this point really rocky for myself because of not understanding it

the more I tried to control, the more difficult it was for all of us.

yes and i had a shining glaring opportunity to find that out this morning.

i had told myself last night, finally as i gave in and let go of the issue - the universe will take care of this - it will give me what i truly need.

this morning - my mom calls - there's the international lego festival and she invites me and s to come to austin with them for it - on Labor day weekend!! we should leave the day ow arrives!!

i half joke and say - mom are you plotting and planning to get s and me out of here so he doesn't meet ow. she says - no - it was in the newspaper this morning and i know how excited s would be.


well old habits die hard and immediately my mind saw the chance to still manipulate the situation and i said - call s tonight and get him really excited about this and then h won't be able to say no. after all HIS family does that to me all the time - he can have a taste from the other side of the fence.

and then my problems are solved.

as we discussed this, i started to feel sick to my stomach. then i started crying and said to my mom - i can't do this, this is making me really sick - i can't keep trying to manipulate what is going on - i've done that for way too long

she just stayed calm and said - zig, call h and ask him and decide together. if he says yes then tell s, if he says no, then don't say anything.

and there i was - taking the real opportunity given me - to do something different and to do it the right way.

and that hole in my stomach that was making me feel sick - it was just gone and there was peace again

so i haven't just learned yesterday - i feel that i have really applied it.



I'm finding out that when awareness is reached, there is another step:

the universe instantly gives you an opportunity to test out where you really stand on the issue.

thanks labug

zig