can Turtles still stand?

[labug]

I haven't read it all but I did catch this:

i still find myself thinking - what is my role as parent and protector of my child - does this not fall within that role?

I think you and I have been here before, way back but this is a tough one. Because we do want to be the mother bear.

When my kids were small I wanted them to experience the world at their pace, in their way. So I threw the doors wide open and provided support and love. Yes, climb that tree! Yes, walk that winding path up the side of that hill! Yes, explore the desert with the dog! Yes, play with legos all day!

But as they got older, their world got bigger and I became afraid for them, especially when it came to people outside our family. (My stuff.) And so I imposed more limits because I was fearful.

And then 5 years ago S(19) ws diagnosed with a chronic health problem and I became more fearful. I didn't want anyone to hurt him.

But it was actually me who was hurting him by not believing that he could handle his life.

Much later I became aware that I didn't think my kids were strong enough to withstand what the world might throw at them. And I was handicapping them by not allowing them to develop their skills. And the more I tried to control, the more difficult in was for all of us.

If you are never challenged, you never develop what it takes to handle challenges.

Even at a young age kids will surprise you with their ability to size up a situation, especially if they are allowed to come to their own conclusions.

So I learned to step out of their way. My job is to provide support, a bit of structure and a soft, loving place to land. To be there to listen without judgment when they want to talk; to give them the space to work things out when they don't feel the need to talk.

We are not raising children, we are guiding children into adulthood. To let them find their way because we won't always be around and they deserve the opportunity to create their own life.

It's sometimes been a very rocky road but my guys have gown into wonderful young men. And I give all the credit to them because they taught me what it means to be a parent.