Divorced.. #2

[Mrs D]

Because I know in the bottom of his heart I am were he wants to be
Sorry, but you don't know this and I know that's tough to accept but it's the truth. Does he still have feelings for you? Probably but he's been hurt and the best way he knows to keep from getting hurt again is to shut his heart off to you.

So what does that mean for you? If you really love him unconditionally, do you want him to be happy? That's a tough question, because that may mean he's happy with the GF.

Every interaction with him has to come from that place of 'I want you to be happy, with or without me.' Are you there yet?

Continue to work to become the better you. I think that for most people the best way to do this is to back off, go very dim and allow the dust to settle. Right now he still sees you as the woman who hurt him and every interaction you have has the potential to reinforce that feeling.

You don't want to be know as the crazy ExW who can't let it go.

Stay away, don't contact him, work on you. When you feel more confident in the new you, you will know it and the interactions will become easier.

Labug - Whew - I can tell that therapy is really working on me! The first thing I wanted to respond was VERY defensive. But I erased it and read your post again, and you are right. It is possible that he is happy where he is. But he could be filling a void as well. Waitiing to see if I DO change. I understand that he has been hurt by me many times. He hasnt shut his heart off to me though - he told me so just the other day. He is using his head right now because its his heart that continually lets him get hurt with me. Either way - I am working on myself. And I really thought I was doing alot better, but maybe I really am not.