W (and I) spent her formative years in Central FL. After high school, she made tons of friends and had her "Wild Years" there. She's kept a good amount of those friendships going to this day. She moved away to GA for a couple years, but found herself going back to Central FL once she broke up with her boyfriend to "be back home"... A couple months later we met (again) and she was off to S. FL a couple months after that.
We were married a couple years later, and (and this will help explain the "I didn't listen to her unhappiness enough" thing) she talked about how much she missed C. FL, her friends there, etc... I kept kinda blowing it off, telling her she needed some time to adjust to S. FL, make some friends, get out more... then she wouldn't feel so "homesick"... Plus, As I'd lived in Central Florida for so many years, I wasn't eager to move back, telling her many times that I had absolutely no desire to go there... this was, in retrospect, a mistake... I could easily have compromised and moved to C.FL after our first lease was up, as nothing much (aside from pride) was keeping me in S. FL... But I persevered, hoping that she'd learn to like it down here and we'd be able to forge a new life together rather than relying on moving back to C.FL to reconnect with old friends...
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
I don't care if she sees that or not at this point. What do you mean that you didn't pay enough attention to her unhappiness and didn't take the action that you should have taken?
I think that may be a big deal here.
Hopefully answered that above, but let me expand a bit. Again, I knew she was unhappy in S. FL, but wanted to help here find a life down here... get a job outside of the one I got her with my brother, introduce her to my friends and friends-of-friends, get her into clubs or groups... but she never took to any of those things... So rather than head to Orlando, I tried a million other things to make her happy...
And once the S really hit the fan, I told her I'd be happy to go back to Orlando... we even began looking at houses online... but after she took a trip up there to visit a friend one weekend, she told me she was over the idea (as her friend and her had a fight that weekend) and wanted to just move ANYWHERE else... So we settled on D.C... and that was the last we really planned until she took another trip to Orlando, saw the EX (current OM) and dropped the bomb...
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Also, you mentioned in a prior post that she didn't feel that you stood up for her and took her side with family. I've been meaning to ask you about this. What are you talking about?
One of my sisters and my sister-in-law are peas-in-a-pod... They have very strong personalities, are, in all honesty, very self-obsessed and opinionated, and are hard to get along with. Well they did get along with W for the most part, but once in a while, one of them would say something kinda mean or inappropriate to her, and I'd say nothing IN FRONT OF THEM... Even going so far as to defend them to my W later... Saying things like "W... That's just how they are... How they've always been..." Behind closed doors, I would voice my disapproval to S and Sis-In-Law, but W never heard me do that... In all honesty, I didn't want to have to stick up for her, as W is a very strong and independent girl who I thought wouldn't WANT me to do that in public... Clearly I was wrong...
Originally Posted By: Denver_2010
Not trying to be a harda$s with you... but want the full picture.
