I repost the following from Wikipedia regarding Humility, in relationship to Buddhist thinking and under the education caveat:
"In Buddhism, humility is equivalent to a concern of how to be liberated from the sufferings of life and the vexations of the human mind. The ultimate aim is to achieve a state of enlightenment through meditation and other spiritual practices. Humility can also result from achieving the liberation of Nirvana. When one experiences the ultimate Emptiness (Shunyata) and non-self (Anatta), one is free from suffering, vexations, and all illusions of self-deception. Humility, compassion, and wisdom characterize this state of enlightenment."
It is unfortunately us who suffer in the death of a loved one.
It is unfortunately you, zig, who is suffering from being concerned about your S meeting OW.
You have been through this before. Your S may or may not be traumatized by meeting OW.
This remains about you, zig. It's neither good nor bad. It is about attempting to control an outcome which you perceive to be negative for your s.
Yes, therapists will suggest that it is not good for a child to be introduced to an OP too early in a R.
The harm though... you CAN support your S in figuring out how to get through it... the harm would more likely be between your S and your H... OR... between you and your S IF you choose to make a big deal out of it, your S decides he likes OW, and sees you as the enemy... because you do NOT like OW...
