all that shows to me is that he still looks to me for establishing the boundaries, because he doesn't have any himself.
but it works both ways, and so one further step that you just propelled me into:
my stating that he is crossing my line - is projecting onto him the boundaries i would like to have, but perceive him having control of.
Yes. The deep meaning of boundaries, if you will. Well done.
Understand this, also. YOU hit the nail on the head, as well. A WAS has clear boundaries and lives them. Being unable to create or enforce one's own boundaries does indicate someone who... is "less than clear" about their direction in life. It does not mean MLC... it simply means they are "less than clear".
And THAT does not affect your choices for your future. It is nothing more than information. What it DOES suggest... TO ME... is... "he is NOT done with you, yet"...
Originally Posted By: zig
if i am to do something different here - not wait to see if he does or doesn't cross the line - but to make my boundaries clear - in a calm measured way.
Making your boundaries clear... is to LIVE YOUR BOUNDARIES.
Words may very likely be ineffective. You need to live and breathe your boundaries. In the same way that you live and breathe not ever rolling through a stop sign.
If you roll through a stop sign just once... then you show that you do not consider a stop sign a personal boundary.
