I want you to know that I was once where you are now. I know how I wanted the quick fix. I know I wanted my ex to see that I had changed. I believed in my heart that we would end up back together. But I also knew I needed to fix me first. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get my ex back. But I can't tell you just how happy and better I feel about myself. I was responsible for a lot of our marriage problems. But I know I have learned the skills to make sure it doesn't happen again.
I'm not telling you to give up on your exH...HELL NO! If that is what you want, then do it. Just work on you first. I will add you to my prayer list and will follow your thread.