can Turtles still stand?

[zig]

""This is speculation, but the boundary he speaks of MIGHT be the ML you and he had a while back. He's indicated and shows that he IS attracted to you, so remember...

Boundaries are for us...

The boundary your H might be speaking of, could very likely be a boundary HE will not cross... and he crossed it... so he's blaming or appears to be blaming YOU for crossing HIS boundary.""

wow, wow KD

yes i understand that it's speculation - but [censored], it sent shivers down my spine!! which of course makes me wonder if you hit the nail on the spot.

so i crossed his line when i openly offered to be with him because he's just human and of course is attracted to me and so couldn't resist - and then since he is unable to set his own boundaries he gets to project that on me and i am thus responsible for crossing his line, not himself for crossing his own line.

all that shows to me is that he still looks to me for establishing the boundaries, because he doesn't have any himself.

but it works both ways, and so one further step that you just propelled me into:

my stating that he is crossing my line - is projecting onto him the boundaries i would like to have, but perceive him having control of.

if i am to do something different here - not wait to see if he does or doesn't cross the line - but to make my boundaries clear - in a calm measured way.

wow - i need to digest this.

thanks KD - every time you come on my thread you manage to provoke some great insight.

i need to work on this for a bit in my mind

thanks
zig