Hello! I just saw your post on my thread. Thought I'd pop by over here.

To your question about bringing up OP with your spouse...

I'm not sure who said that it is bad, but i agree with that.

Why? Sure, I do think that the mention of OP could possibly bring up old feelings or memories for your spouse, but there is a more important reason why we should not do this...

Because we should not hold the affair or the fact that there was an OP over our spouse's head if we are working on reconciling.

I believe that to recover and have a successful reconciliation, that we do have to forgive our spouse for their choices and actions during the separation.

How can do we forgive... how can our spouse believe that we have forgiven... if we are bringing the subject up over and over again?? How can the marriage move forward?

I don't believe that it can.

Deal with the fact of the A. Forgive if that is what you choose to do. Move forward, create a happy, affair proof marriage... and look to better days.

You cannot change the past... no matter how hard we try.

M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce