TM, I'm sorry to hear about your xw...I've heard of this happening to a few other people and she's very lucky they did surgery on her. She doesn't know how lucky she is.
I, personally, don't think it is wise to have the little one go to your xw's mother's place. Right now, your little one needs to be w/you for stability and she does not need to be used as a "gofer" for when her mother comes home. Besides, school is starting and she needs to be able to go to school and not worry about her mother. I would suggest that your xw needs to recover completely before the little one stays w/her.
I would keep the visit very short this evening. Before visiting you may want to sit your little one down and explain just a little bit of what she might see there, like the IV lines, etc., so it doesn't scare her. After you return home, reassure her.
I understand the feeling of being "unwanted", but this time, you will need to take the little one for short visits w/her mother.
Hang in there!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
