Hi, could you guys give me some advice on how to handle this?

Yesterday was a bad day.

It shouldn't have been but things got on top of me. A good friend from Uni came over to demo the product his company makes. He was in the year ahead of me and didn't go the academic route like me. Instead, I helped him get a job at the company I was placed with during my year out and he stayed, got promoted to team leader, moved to germany, then came back and started a successful business.

I started comparing that to me and where I am now and didn't like what I saw. I don't push myself, live life day to day, wife left, job prospects mediocre and am waiting for the D bomb.

So, I decided to go sailing to get away from it. My best mate had been saying he would definitely come too so I rang him, no answer. I went on my own, got there and it was really busy, I was a bit late and then just turned round and went home. I couldn't do it. I felt terrible. I let myself down.

Had a bit of a pep talk with my mum which made things a bit clearer. I have to start relying on myself. My wife and best friend aren't there to support me and prop me up all the time. If I want to do something I have to do it myself.

Then I started thinking on my sitch, and how I've been approaching it. Did more reading about WAW/MLC syndromes and felt a bit hopeless. Then I switched my thinking around and tried to empathise with my W. How bad must she have felt to walk out? How many times did she feel let down by me? Frustrated by me? Why did I do the things I did? Why did I get angry for no reason if she came home a little later than she said she would?

The reason comes down to my lack of trust in her. She never gave me any reason not to 100% trust her, but I kept testing it. Trying to control her more and more due to my problems and eventually, understandably, she snapped.

I then realised that I really needed to apologise for that. I've been seeing myself as a victim and not a participant. So I rang and left a message on her phone.

I checked whether she needed any help or more things from the house and then apologised for how my actions over the years had meant that she felt trapped and ultimately forced into taking the decisions she has. I said it must have been horrible for her to go through and said I'm really sorry.

Then I put the phone down and cried a lot!

This morning I received this TM,

"Thanks for msg, was in bed. I need a few things from house but only bits of mine. Busy few days tho so won't get over this week, maybe next. Will let u know. Thanks for apology, it's not all you tho and it wasn't all horrible, just increasingly not right. We can talk more soon, maybe next week."

What should I do? If I make any attempt to suggest how we can improve things she'll retreat. She thinks we're done. If I listen and validate we'll stay in limbo because she doesn't seem to believe that our marriage can be saved and has given up hope. What solution orientated approaches can I take?