Dear Sweet Dawn - yes it is a challenge at every moment - and sometimes we are up and we can do those things, and sometimes we slide a bit and it just seems we can't.
and that's okay.
the point is to keep persevering.
when i look back over the last weeks i can see the same pattern within myself - that some days it was almost easy to do those things and other days i was paralyzed. what i started doing was encouraging myself, by looking back at the first few months and remembering being totally paralysed with NO moments where i could pursue my goals. and i told myself - see how far you've come along - now you have some , and often many where as before you had none of those sorts of days.
that feeling of waiting for the other person - we have all done it and it's okay - in the first months i didn't want to commit to anything - just in case h came home. then i slowly started to see that it was a very unhealthy way for me to be.
and it was scary those first times when i committed to something else - what if i was gone and he came back.
well - now i see that it was a fruitless way to exist. i had to build enough confidence to get out of that and realize that if i'm gone and he comes "back" he'll find me.
go live your life sweet girl - and at the same time, when you have those paralysing days - just say to yourself - yes this is one of those but it's not every day like this. and slowly over time - there will be less of those and more of the other better kind
so talk yourself to a better more eager place just like you did at the end of your post and go read that book and go find out about the job,and come tell me about it
((((( )))))
you are doing great - even if you don't feel it all the time
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
